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I have come to terms with the death of my first true love, but it… - this is me...lauren jessica

May. 22nd, 2007

06:06 pm

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I have come to terms with the death of my first true love, but it still hurts like hell. I miss my best friend because without him by my side I feel like a huge part of me is missing. I know that Jevon is dead and I can't bring him back but there is a huge pain that just won't go away. I think about him everyday and I try to live without him but it is hard. I miss him more than anyone could imagine especially the closer I get to my college graduation because he wanted me to complete so bad. It will be the hardest day of my life knowing that he will not be there in the physical form with me. I want the other half of me because without him I feel like nothing. I am mad at God and I know that I should not be but I am. I can sometimes feel him but I soon realize that that can't be him because he is not there. I can smell him and I can hear his voice. Every time I feel like saying the hell with this I hear his voice saying L don't be stupid. I know that he is not in pain, and I am happy that he is one of God's angels. But I am in so much pain not having him here. I know one day I will see him again but I need him now. I guess I should feel blessed to have an extra angel watching over me, but I feel like there is a void.

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From:flutterbychild
Date:May 22nd, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
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I understand your feeling like there is a void in your life...this is even more of a reason for you to walk, in his memory, to honor all that he meant to you.
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